Every day of my life is an experience of walking with God

I was born in Donetsk. We had an ordinary Soviet family: my father worked as a welder, my mother was in the kitchen. I remember that somewhere already from the first class Dad allowed me to smoke. He said: "If you smoke, then the chickens are open - be a man."

Another criterion for a real man in the understanding of my father was the ability to deceive. Besides all. The main thing at the same time, that you were good. It seemed that everything around us so lived. I remember how my elder brother for 6 years, having come home, boasted how he had deceived someone, somehow stole something ... And his dad praised him. From this he received satisfaction. In such an atmosphere I was brought up. My friends in the yard did not differ much from me. The main criterion of our relationship was the principle of strength and fear: who is stronger, that is right! On the basis of these qualities and my character was formed. I was sure that if I did not make money by dishonest way, if I did not deceive, I did not steal it, I did not covet, nothing good would wait for me. Such a life is simply not interesting.

But, despite such beliefs, for some reason, I was not pleased. I did not find satisfaction in what I did, and somewhere unconsciously realized that everything I was doing was wrong. And yet, I continued to live according to the laws of the crowd, because I wanted to be fashionable, strong and cool ... I wanted to be respected in the society in which I was.

Our yard company numbered 30 children and teenagers of my age. We smoked, stolen, drank, went to dance, broke up ... So say, defended the honor of the court, quarter.

I was serious and even cruel, but it did not bring me satisfaction and inner peace.

One day I noticed that Mom had hung an icon in the corner of the room. At that time, it was impossible to believe in God. The ideology of the Communist Party considered religion as a deception for the people. I asked my mother: "Who is this?" Mom said: "God's." I was then 8 or 10 years old, but I was so close to my mother's words that they did not give me rest. I understood that God exists, he exists, He can always be addressed, and He will definitely help and support, and in any situation: I go to work or do something bad. That was my idea of ​​God then.

In the house where I lived, I was restless. Dad was drinking and mummy every day, so often we just did not sleep at home. I felt so sorry for my mother that one day, somewhere in the 11 years, I stood up for her seriously beat her father. After this, he realized that there is someone to stand up for behind his mother, and he stopped mocking her. So again, I became convinced that human power and cruelty are ruled in this world. And, I think, it was precisely at this moment that the evil that I lived with for many years was ripe for me. It completely absorbed me, and I did not even doubt that this is the only correct way of survival.

There were Andropov times. I then studied at grade 7 or 8. Our company smoked and smoked, and it seemed to us that we were stylish and independent. And the struggle at the governmental level with alcoholism and the lack of vodka "helped" us to seriously get carried away with drugs. Many young guys were dying of overdose. I saved the army.

I did not want to serve. I was afraid that when I went to the army, there would be strong breakdowns, because the drugs kept me alive. Therefore, the military had to just chase me. But one day, when I came from work, mother, weeping, said: "Slavik, I came to the military, tomorrow you will be taken to the army." During the night we were walking, and in the morning, having accompanied me, my mother gave me a prayer written with her hand. It was the 90th Psalm - to help alive. And I once again thought about the existence of God.

I've had a good break with drugs. Probably, my mom's prayers helped.

Soon, I was sent, to say, to the shooting - to the hot spot. But after wounding in my leg I got into a hospital, where somehow the head of the brass band once came in a random manner. He asked: "Who can play a wind instrument?" And as a child, I studied the art and played well on the pipe. Then he raised his hand. He gave me a pipe and asked to play a gamut of 7:40 ... This determined my further service: I became a musician. For two years, I have been playing the brass band on a saxophone and bass guitar, sometimes even performing the duties of a sound engineer, and it turned out to be quite good for me.

So, thanks to my mother's prayers, as well as the prayer I periodically read, I served in the army.

But when I returned home, drugs came back to me and money was dishonestly made. It lasted five years. I got dirty in anger and in the wrong. We opened with the guys the firm and those things that were already in the enterprises (for example, machines), managed to sell the same enterprise. There were a lot of money, but they, as they came during the day, went away in the evening.

Every day I went to bed and, as I could, I turned to God. I remembered the mummines of the instruction that you can always contact Him. I did not like my life: despite the large amount of money I owned, I was not satisfied with what I was doing. I was oppressed by the huge emptiness of the heart that I tried to fill with drugs. Probably then, in my life the legion of demons lived, I possessed some supernatural power, because I did deeds that an ordinary person could not do. I recall there was a period when I needed money. Just at this time I found myself between the garages where the men made the car. I saw the assembled engine, took it and carried away secretly, although it was very difficult.

Or here's a situation: somehow for serious debts, I was closed in the garage so that after a while special people with me "worked well". I was not happy with myself, my way of life. But did not want to die. I wanted to live, have children. I saw my friends dying: one was gone, then killed another. And I prayed to God and asked Him: "Lord, leave me alive!" And He gave me strength to bend the garage door. It's unrealistic for a person. But I succeeded. Then I thought that I was so strong, and now, after 20 years, I'm 100% sure that God's power was guided by me. He wanted to save me.

Then I ran away. But he continued to live for pleasure.

...I always got up very early, because I had to go "to the point" to prick. One day, I woke up at 5 o'clock in the morning to meet with a friend and "tarry" with drugs. But before leaving the house, my mother stopped me: "Slavik, stand! Why did not you pray? "I asked my comrade to wait, and my mother and I began to pray on the threshold. My mother prayed aloud for my salvation, asked God to help me live according to His will ... I prayed for my sake: so that everything happens to me so that God will see the meeting and nothing bad has happened. When I ran out to the street, Sasha (my friend), without waiting for me, already got into the bus ... I did not have enough time and a meter to run to the door of the car, which the driver closed literally in front of my nose. I was in despair: screaming, running after ... But the bus left. The next day, when I came to where we were going together with a friend, I learned that Sasha was killed.

After many years I realized, it turned out to me that God saved me then through a prayer that caused my mother to stop me. If I had left with Sasha, I would not have been alive either.

I am very grateful to God for this.

After such moments, something happened in my heart ...

One morning, I was sitting and eating, as a courteous car drove into our courtyard, with a decent driver, from which two girls came out and went to our porch. They shone like two angels ... I still thought, "Well, where are they going?" And suddenly they called our door. My mother warned me that I behaved properly, said that they were believers, and asked permission to talk to them. When Olya and Nelly (as it turned out later), I looked at them very suspiciously and thought: "What do they want from us?" At that time rumors that it was possible to lose the apartment because of the sectarians ... I began to feel the situation. It turned out that they were from wealthy families who occupied a serious position not only in the Donetsk region, but also in Ukraine. The girls told how God saved them. From them came some unusual calm, they were sincere, they were pleased to talk, their eyes glowed with kindness and love. I was very surprised: many different believers came to us, but there were not such. They asked for permission to pray for me.

In many of the people I have met with, I saw one desire to use me for my own selfish ends, and they spoke about God and offered their prayer help.

At this time, my sister and Nastenka's niece died alone. I took her to her, she was me as a daughter. I shared my grief with Olya and Nellie and they helped me a lot: they were supportive, they gave good advice. I will always be grateful to them for their patience, friendliness, kind regards to such as me. It seemed that God had come down through them into my evil world to show what love was. I am grateful to Him that He showed every day how he loves me.

So gradually we got to know the Adventists and my mother was baptized, and Olya and Nelly suggested organizing our home church from us.

But I was still an inadequate person, my relationship with people was reduced to using them for their own purposes, for their own benefit. When people began to gather at home, I found out one woman among them - the mother of my good friend who died of drugs. She treated me as a son, through her acceptance of me, I felt God's love. Despite the fact that I often carried on myself arrogantly and selfishly, the members of the home church and the mom of my ex-friend tried to help me so that no such trouble would happen to me.

I find it hard and painful to recall this.

People went to church with us, they prayed sincerely for all sorts of needs and for me. But I did not stay with them, I went to my business. However, I felt the power of their prayer and in my life began to change: when I wanted to do something bad, I could not, it was an impression that something keeps me. I heard a voice inside me that said that I was doing wrong. In me, the conscience was waking up, guided, as I now understand, by the Holy Ghost.

I began to think about how I live. I began to notice that when I went out into the courtyard, shops and doors were closed before me... People were afraid of me, they were afraid that, guided by my permissiveness, I did not do anything bad. It seemed that I had no government, even the police. I was covered by "serious" friends and I behaved myself swiftly, disgustingly and unworthy.

I'm ashamed to talk about it, but it was.

I did not understand what to do in this life to live well. And from hopelessness I began to visit thoughts about suicide. I got a full drug syringe and decided to end this life. After the injection, a dose of which several people could kill, I woke up like someone woke me up.

Now I understand that then there was a serious struggle: God fought for me.

But after a month I repeated an attempt to suicide. I scored twice as much as the first dose, and I introduced myself ... And again, someone woke me up. I was alive. Mom and community at that time prayed about me.

I was desperate, in my life so much did not work out that I could not even die. This was very bad, even disgusting.

And I'm going to realize my intentions for the third time. I scored a very large dose of the drug. But God (I am sure of this!) Did the impossible: He defused the contents of the syringe and turned it into nothing.

I did not feel anything at all: it was like water.

Now I know that these were His actions in response to the prayers of me. But then I was in perplexity and in extreme rage. I was puzzled: are there really so many healths in me that I do not take any poison? But precisely because of the prayers of people who were indifferent to me, God has neutralized this drug. I stumbled, I was angry, but I did not take anything. I demanded the return of money from those who sold me, as I thought, a poor quality product...

I did not know what to do, and I asked God: "Lord, how do I live?" How to be What to do? "

It was bad for me, but not enough to die. It lasted for a year. One boy came to me, Lesha, 12 years old. He stood and wept, because he was afraid of me, but he said: "Uncle Slavik, can I please pray for you?" When he prayed, he was so worried that he was crying. But through such a weakness God made a great miracle on me: I began to think differently.

People went to church with us, they prayed sincerely for all sorts of needs and for me. But I did not stay with them, I went to my business. However, I felt the power of their prayer and in my life began to change: when I wanted to do something bad, I could not, it was an impression that something keeps me. I heard a voice inside me that said that I was doing wrong. In me, the conscience was waking up, guided, as I now understand, by the Holy Ghost.

I began to think about how I live. I began to notice that when I went out into the courtyard, shops and doors were closed before me ... People were afraid of me, they were afraid that, guided by my permissiveness, I did not do anything bad. It seemed that I had no government, even the police. I was covered by "serious" friends and I behaved myself swiftly, disgustingly and unworthy.

I'm ashamed to talk about it, but it was.

I did not understand what to do in this life to live well. And from hopelessness I began to visit thoughts about suicide. I got a full drug syringe and decided to end this life. After the injection, a dose of which several people could kill, I woke up like someone woke me up.

Now I understand that then there was a serious struggle: God fought for me.

But after a month I repeated an attempt to suicide. I scored twice as much as the first dose, and I introduced myself ... And again, someone woke me up. I was alive. Mom and community at that time prayed about me. I was desperate, in my life so much did not work out that I could not even die. This was very bad, even disgusting. And I'm going to realize my intentions for the third time. I scored a very large dose of the drug. But God (I am sure of this!) Did the impossible: He defused the contents of the syringe and turned it into nothing. I did not feel anything at all: it was like water.

Now I know that these were His actions in response to the prayers of me. But then I was in perplexity and in extreme rage. I was puzzled: are there really so many healths in me that I do not take any poison? But precisely because of the prayers of people who were indifferent to me, God has neutralized this drug. I stumbled, I was angry, but I did not take anything. I demanded the return of money from those who sold me, as I thought, a poor quality product ...

I did not know what to do, and I asked God: "Lord, how do I live?" How to be What to do? "

It was bad for me, but not enough to die. It lasted for a year. One boy came to me, Lesha, 12 years old. He stood and wept, because he was afraid of me, but he said: "Uncle Slavik, can I please pray for you?" When he prayed, he was so worried that he was crying. But through such a weakness God made a great miracle on me: I began to think differently.

And here's another test: my mother was ill with cancer, and I, wishing to help her, suggested finding drugs for analgesia. But she said: "Slavik, the best relief for me will be your daily reading of the Bible." I always had problems with my eyesight, so it was difficult to read me. And this was a serious obstacle to the study of the Word of God. But for my mother's sake, I took the Bible and read it. And the words from the gospel I read to her remained in my heart. I helped my mother to endure pain on the path to eternity, and at the same time he himself went to God.

Mom's premeditated request was the desire to be buried by the Church of the Adventists. We did so: invited the church. Come people, pastor. I was touched by their sincerity, friendliness and indifference. And most importantly, I, who was trained to use people for myself in my childhood, did not see anyone in this desire: to use me for my own purposes.

After mom's funeral, sometime in a month, Marina and I began to go to the program. I came sometimes drunk, but people tolerated me. At the end of the program, Marina received a baptism, and I did not.

I got good money and very drank. But once Marina warned that if I did not give up drinking, I would lose both her and her daughter. My daughter has always been a priceless gift for me. I got on my knees and said: "Lord, I can no longer go against you, I can not live like this, do it." Help me please. Help me so that I believe that You are. "

From my ignorance, on my human level, I set the condition before God, before our Creator.

I then worked in a very serious company in the city, and all the people very much appreciated their workplace. But I said to God: "Give me strength and courage to go and tell the boss that I should be allowed to rest on the Sabbath." For work on Saturday we then received up to a thousand hryvnias a day. It was very much for those days (people earned 300-400 UAH per month). God really gave me strength and wisdom to correctly submit my request and I went to the director. I told him that he believed in God that I wanted to find him and decided on Saturday to not work. The chief asked why on a Saturday, after all, on that day you can earn such huge money? Never was there that people who did not want to work according to the schedule, also asked: why? They just fired. And when he heard an explanation (according to God's command), he agreed to help me. I came out of my office, filled with joyful rejoicing, my heart beat at a rapid rate: I felt the presence of God and His invisible but real help.

In the first month, having not worked on a single Sabbath, I received a bigger salary than anyone who worked on Saturdays. For me it was a real and very compelling experience. It lasted for 3 months. And in January it turned out that there were many weekends, and I had somewhere just one working week. But as a result, it turned out that my remuneration for this week of work was not less than the rest of the team. It struck me and strengthened the faith.

But I went to church, but I was still afraid. I'm such a sinner: I drink, I smoke. It was just as embarrassing to me: in fact, in the village I was not known for the better.

Standing on my knees, I turned to God again: "Lord, if you are, please do not let me drink." God saved me overnight from alcohol addiction! I do not drink till today. He turned away all my insides from the alcohol. But I still did not dare to come to church. Then I knelt and said: "Lord, I want to come to you in church. But I can not: I'm so dirty! Make me stop smoking! "And God freed me and this dependence.

For me, these were invaluable experiments. Over time, I began to notice the people around me, saw that many of us were afraid, and therefore they were hiding. I realized that the reason for this was the evil that I committed against them. I was not up to myself. I did not want to stay that way. I understood: it is necessary to change.

At that time, I did not understand who Adventists, Baptists or representatives of other faiths were. I knew that in the club "Gornyak" in Donetsk there were meetings of believers and sometimes went there, was interested in serving. But I did not like that the present stomped their feet, shouted ... I felt that I had to escape from this place. I did not know the Bible well, but I remembered the lines that I read to my mother, and I often saw the ministry of the Adventist church. I liked to be there. It was important to me that nobody imposed anything on it, i.e. did not press his beliefs. And everything that was heard from the chair could be read in the Bible. I did, even in spite of my bad eyesight.

Soon I decided to be baptized. He walked over to the Adventist pastor and said of his desire.

Many members of the church were crying at my baptism, because they knew all the way to which I was going and wondered how God changed me.

So I found happiness.

After baptism, the Lord told me: "Sell everything and go to Poltava". Every day and every night, these words sounded in my ears every week. Said about this to Marina, she did not want to come back: financially, we all settled here. But I insisted: "Marina, I have experienced God so many times. How do you think, who, if not God, will tell me in my ear and heart so that I do it? Let's check him again. " We dialed the phone number of Marina's aunt and said: "We need a house." She found the house in which we live now. We moved to the village of Machuha, six kilometers from Poltava. And when the war started in the Donbass, I realized why God brought us here. It's awesome!

Now I'm working on a construction site, God gives objects, and I believe that each of them is not sent to me by people, namely God. My principle of life is everything that does not happen - from God. And this helps me.

Today is the first day of work on a new facility, they have sat down for lunch, the head is standing, talking. I ask, "Can I pray?" He replies: "And I think: something is not like you."

That's how we live with God's help.

Already in Poltava, God saved me from death for some time: I stood near a barrel of water. There was a crazy explosion in the courtyard, and a lightning struck in the barrel ... The alarm system was in the car, the wife ran out of the house, everyone was scared, and I stand next to the barrel - alive!

And one day we went to our sea on our car, we had 5 people. And already on a return road the car has sunk down. I did not understand why? Everything seems to work, but he does not go. We began to pray. Suddenly a car appeared on the road that stopped near us. Some unusual guy came out of her and offered to help: I ​​advised my entire family to sit down in his car, and I stayed in my own. He took me to the boat, got up, I turned on the fourth gear, and the car started up. Everyone moved to me and we were ready to go further. But I wanted to somehow thank our rescuer, but he refused and did not take anything. After we got into the car and moved, I no longer saw any car or the person who helped us. They seemed to dissolve. We were amazed at what happened and thanked God for the help of the angel sent to us. When we arrived home, the car completely collapsed. I called the electrician, he took out the chip: the control unit of the machine was just melted. He said he did not understand how we arrived, that it was simply unrealistic.

For him, maybe, it is unrealistic, but for us it is quite real. Because God is real, who is near, who loves us all and is always ready to help.

Now every day of my life is an experience of walking with God, an experience of communicating with Him and obedience to His counsels.

I am sure that God can do much in the life of every person, so that in his turn he could glorify his Heavenly Father.